“For even life and death are one,
even as the river and the sea are one.”
—Kahlil Gibran

Dear Anam Caras,

You continue to be in my heart as this chaotic life unfolds with all its challenges. Moment by moment during many days and nights, I observe how often the mind’s constrictive thought-forms interfere with my vow “to stay sane in these times.” I then remember to return my focus to balance and equanimity.

Again and again and again and again and again and again and again!

Last month’s essay, “The Beauty Way of Partnering with Life”, described the Revolutionary Love Project’s principle to “See No Stranger”, from the book by Valarie Kaur.

This month’s essay, “The Beauty Way of Partnering with Death”, is dedicated to my dear friend RL who is showing the way of partnering with death. The essay builds on the Sikh religion’s principle to See No Stranger. I invite you to consider the possibility of befriending the Stranger, the inevitable reality some call “death.” I hope this essay brings you some new and useful thoughts and loving comfort at this difficult time.

“It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth – and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up – that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.”
—Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Mystics teach the impermanence of all physical forms. We are liberated from fear and upset when we are able to understand and prepare for that time when the body dies and the soul continues on in a new form. Facing into the death of the physical body gives us the possibility to have a worthwhile life, creating days of meaning, joy, and beauty.

A ‘near-death’ experience in 2007 allowed me to realize the transition to the other world is nothing to be feared. It gave me the gift of directly knowing and accepting (slowly, over time) the impermanence and immortality of human existence.

Sunday, September 27, 2020.

At the “Bon Voyage” virtual circle gathering to celebrate the life of my dear old friend RL who entered hospice earlier this month.

When the invitation arrives, here are some of my body/mind’s responses…

• Dread, a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.           
• Memories of our decades-long bond followed by a headache and a flood of tears.
• Guilt to have been out of touch with RL.
• Oh no, I DO NOT want to say goodbye to yet another loved one.
• Too many souls are leaving. It’s becoming unbearable.
• Am I next?
• Oh, wow, isn’t that interesting! Trust RL and her family to create such a celebration.
• What a great idea to have a service for RL before she has departed! I’m glad to be included.

I invite you to observe what your body/mind responses are right now.

Affection for our old friend RL and curiosity about what would happen in the circle bring Harry and me to the screen for a 90 minute online circle with 60+ people calling in from across North America.

The remarkable diversity of All Her Relations is evident in the faces on screen: all ages, genders, and races. RL’s family and friends are present along with her many circles of Midwest rootedness, her early activism in the mainstream church, and then her later life spiritual activism.

We have showed up to cheer RL on, to bid her Bon Voyage as her soul moves on to its next life passage.

Listening deeply, I hear of RL’s gradual evolution from meek corporate wife and mother to awakened grandmother, a fierce spiritual warrior. The stories echo respectful wonder at her immensely courageous growth and change!

The ever-present vibrant thread of social justice shines clearly, woven through her many life phases. For decades, RL put her skinny little body on the line to advocate for the endangered—everything from invisible elder women to all the creatures of air, water, and earth.

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” —Mother Teresa

The circle begins with a poignant slideshow, reflecting some of the many social justice causes that RL devoted her life to; her dog cuddling up next to her in bed; RL enjoying a serene vista in her last home. There are photos of the beautiful environments of Minnesota, Oregon, and Florida that RL had inhabited and worked to protect. Recent photos showed her luminous face topped with a knit hat, peering out from under many blankets, grinning mischievously like a woodland sprite.

The circle includes joyous ceremony, music, drumming, singing, and story-telling. People pass the virtual talking piece, sharing memories, speaking with gratitude about the impact RL had on their lives.

RL is there (off video) listening and responding with a joyful strong voice. With dignity and delight, she absorbs the appreciation we all speak through tears and laughter.

As the last singers serenade her, I am filled with joy, wonder, and gratitude for RL and for her family and friends. They have given us the priceless gift of speaking our love and respect while she was still physically able to receive it. RL and her community had a chance to experience that elusive notion grief counselors call “closure.”

We had the privilege of witnessing One Who Partners with Death, in beauty, grace, and delight. Recent bulletins of her journey describe RL releasing her attention from the external and moving deeper into her own deep well of consciousness.

I bet I’m not the only one who received the inspiring bonus of imagining my own Bon Voyage circle. I hope this story is a gift for you as well! May all merit go to RL.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO “CHERISH What Is” IN THE EIGHTH HOUSE OF DEATH?

“For life and death are one,
even as the river and the sea are one.“–Kahlil Gibran

In meditation, my Divine Intuition answers, “I am grateful to have learned to befriend death. I am grateful to have learned how to hold sacred space for others during the time when the soul is leaving the body.”

What is your Divine Intuition telling you these days about how Death is asking you to become its Partner?

Perhaps because so many modern people are estranged from the life cycles of the natural world, there seems to be a taboo about discussing or making preparations for one’s death. Even though we have often heard that “the only two certainties are death and taxes” (Benjamin Franklin in 1789.)

Spiritual maturity includes the skill of looking clearly at one’s transition from physical form and befriending that reality. Looking clearly includes making meaning of one’s life and death. Thankfully, there is a movement to help people have these difficult conversations. (See more links at the end of this essay.)

A Practice to partner with Death

HOUSE EIGHT. A 2015 teaching adapted from Swami Pranananda

I have learned so much over the past 17 years from my spiritual teacher Swami Pranananda about the skillful means of being present with those who are leaving the body and with their loved ones. It is a difficult last labor to let go of all that we cherish. Or very often, all that we regret.

The 8^th House is about the end of things, the death of the physical body, inheritances. and other people’s wealth or legacies. Mystically, the legacy can be spiritual, what we inherit from our lineage or ancestors or wise teachers. (The Second House, opposite on the zodiacal wheel, is about one’s own wealth.)

You must know for yourself your feelings about death and prepare for it.  Birth and death are equally important times. Death sets the pattern and tone for the next life. Your last thoughts, the way you transition will influence your next life.

Death is simply losing continuity of consciousness. It is just like sleeping in the dream state. When you enter a new body, you have to learn the functions of the new body. It’s the same thing when you sleep. If you don’t have continuity of consciousness, you may forget some of your hard-won satori (enlightenment, insight) when you awaken tomorrow.

Kriya Yoga acknowledges the importance of being a centered presence for the one transitioning and their loved ones. We ask them to remember the Goodness of the soul who is departing. We concentrate on the person’s Good thoughts, words, and deeds. This practice shifts the energy from loss, fear, and grief to gratitude for the person. The Bon Voyage circle was that kind of shift to gratitude for RL and her beloveds.

If you wish to be of service at the end of a person’s life, become intimate and comfortable with death.

PRACTICES FOR THE EIGHTH HOUSE

Educate yourself about death. It is worth your attention. Everybody carries the false thought that “it won’t happen to me!”

• Make 3 lists–what you know about death; what you feel; what you believe. 
• Compare the lists. 
• Reflect and identify what more you need to learn.
• Identify who might teach you about death.

Other people’s wealth.  Activate the 8^th House to change your state of consciousness to an awareness of the wealth that has come to you from others. You need to understand the wealth of your life, including the wealth of these challenging times.

• What do you want?
• What is your life’s wealth at this time?
• What wealth do you want?

Mystically, the Eighth House’s wealth of the memory track is the greatest and deepest wealth of all. It is the doorway to the astral. We are given the wealth of others’ memory tracks through their teaching, writing, and most importantly, their example. Though you have acted to draw this wealth into your life, it is given freely. Merit comes because another has done for you. Grace comes. It is something unearned.

“It is the secret of the world that all things subsist and do not die, but retire a little from sight and afterwards return again.” –-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Peace be unto you, dear Anam Caras. May you find Harmony in becoming a partner to Death. May you find new, uplifting thoughts about the nature of impermanence and immortality. May you bless Life with your special gifts of constructive thoughts, words, and actions.

May your love and compassion become an ever greater blessing to all you encounter. May your Heart-Light be a beacon for those who are discouraged and in despair at this time.

May you walk in Beauty today and all the days of your life, dear ones. With great love and respect,

Take a break from the anxious churning of the endless news cycles. Here are some enlightening offerings:

The Dalai Lama, Advice on Dying and Living a Better Life

A doctor on considerations at the end of life

The Death Wellness Movement

The End of Life in the time of Covid

Refuse to have a terrible death